Image Source: Liliana Taboas

I didn't truly learn to love my body until I became a mother. Long before my son was born, even before having children was a thought in my mind, I was never truly happy with my body. This went as far back as my early 20's when I was a tiny little thing and could get into shape without really even trying. I would often criticize myself, thinking my stomach wasn't defined enough, my arms not toned enough, my hips, thighs, and butt too curvy, and my boobs too small. While I recognized that I was not actually overweight and that I was healthy, I would still refer to myself as "fat" at times. I would find myself comparing my body to those of other women, envious of one's toned arms or another's long, slim legs.

As women, our society has taught us to dislike our bodies. To feel that no matter what we do, our bodies are never "perfect." That our stomachs could always be flatter, our thighs slimmer and smoother, our boobs perkier and our butts firmer. And when it comes to bouncing back after having a baby, women are expected to be back to their pre pregnancy weight within weeks. The celebrities all do it, so why can't we?

I once saw this quote and it stuck with me. "Every single human life is the result of a woman's incredible transformation and sacrifice." (-unknown) The female body is absolutely incredible. The fact that many women can carry, sustain, and birth a child is truly magical in my eyes. A woman's body undergoes a massive transformation during the almost 10 months she is pregnant. So why is it that our society expects her to look like her pre baby self within mere weeks of giving birth? And, why does our society care so much? Shouldn't the fact that she grew a human and gave birth to a child that she is now doing her best to raise be what matters? Shouldn't her body be honored for doing the incredible? I think so.

As new moms, the last thing we should be worried about is getting our bodies back into shape when we have a new life we are responsible for. The transformation a woman goes through not only physically during pregnancy and childbirth, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as she becomes a mother is the greatest transformation she will ever undergo in her lifetime. This is a time to honor that transformation, to be gentle with ourselves as we learn about this new version of who we are as a mother, and as we get to know our babies.

During my pregnancy I never thought much about what would become of my body after I gave birth. I just assumed I would bounce back relatively quickly since I was in good shape before I got pregnant, and stayed active throughout my pregnancy. But bouncing back quickly was not my reality. I had a difficult recovery from my son's birth and took my time getting back to exercising. (I didn't start working out again until I felt that I had recovered enough and was truly able to handle exercise, which was much later than the go ahead my OBGYN had given me.) I had gained close to 50 lbs by the end of my pregnancy on top of the 15 lbs I had gained from the IVF hormones I was given. I remember being about 4 months postpartum looking at my body in the mirror and thinking, "Who is that? Is that really me?" In that moment I felt ashamed of the body I saw in the mirror. My body. What an awful feeling that was. I looked back at photos of myself pre pregnancy and thought, "If only I had that body again! Why was I so hard on myself?" I noticed myself comparing my body yet again, this time to other mothers, and wondering why they were able to "bounce back" so quickly. I hated that I was doing that. I was not proud of those thoughts, and I knew I had to do something to change the way I saw myself.

I took a big step back and reminded myself what my body had just been through. I underwent IVF and two frozen embryo transfers to get pregnant with my son. That alone is a lot for the body and mind to endure. I then grew a human for 42 weeks, was in labor for 40+ hours, with 4 of them spent pushing my baby out into the world. My body had taken a beating. My abdominal muscles were so weak from pushing for such an extended period of time that I felt like my entire midsection was made of jello. My pelvic floor was now on vacation, and I was anemic from blood loss during labor. And I had just become Mama to the most gorgeous baby boy I have ever laid eyes on. My body made him, and brought him into the world. How amazing is that?! It was time for me to start being kinder to myself and recognizing the miracle my body had just created.

It wasn't easy to shift my frame of mind when it came to my post baby body. In fact, it took me a full year to get to the place where I am now. I recognize that my body is forever changed and I embrace that. I will never again have the body I did before my son was born, because that body had never grown a human inside of it, pushed a baby out from between its hips and into the world, or fed an infant from its breasts. This body, the body I have now, has done all of those things, and will hopefully do them again in the not so distant future. The body I have now, my "mom body" is in much better shape and is stronger than my pre-baby body ever was. My "mom body" can lift and squat heavy weights, run up dozens of flights of stairs, balance on two hands in various yoga poses, and carry around a 20-something lb baby while pushing a vacuum at the same time, among other things. My "mom body" also has loose skin and stretch marks, and boobs that pretty much don't resemble the ones I had pre-baby whatsoever. These things are proof that I created and sustained a life, and I am OK with that! While my body may not be societally "perfect" I could care less. I am strong, I am healthy, and I earned these imperfections, so I wear them proudly.

This isn't to go without saying that I don't have days where I wish certain parts of my body looked differently. I do. But they are fewer and far between, and I am quick to let go of those negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. The hardest part of my transformation was to let go of comparing myself to other women. It wasn't fair to me, and it certainly wasn't fair to those other women either. There is no way to know what it is like to walk in someone else's skin. Judging a woman's body because we are envious of it, or because we are not, is an ugly habit and one I strongly disliked having. After some serious soul searching and meditation, I found a way to let go of the comparisons I was making, and began to make peace with myself. I am so much happier for it now.

As women, we need to lift each other up, to recognize that every body is beautiful in its own unique way. No two of us are built the same. We need to let go of the idea of a "perfect body." The perfect body can be whatever we make of it. I choose to see my own body as perfect. I see all bodies as perfect. It is time to let go of the negative self talk, and begin to truly love every inch of ourselves. To honor the journey we have just been on to becoming a mother. To love our bodies not solely for the life (or lives) it has created, but for all that it does for us every day. We need to join together to promote self esteem, self love, positive body image, respect for ourselves and other women, good health, well-being, and love. We are all beautiful, magnificent creatures.

The placenta is an amazing organ that plays the role of a baby's life support system during pregnancy. The placenta is located within the uterus and is connected to the baby by the umbilical cord. It provides blood, nutrients, and oxygen to the baby while filtering out waste. Blood from the mother is filtered through the placenta and through the umbilical cord into the baby. As the blood from the mother passes through the placenta, it acts as a filtration system, weeding out any harmful substances before it reaches the baby. After a child is born, the mother then delivers the placenta. Humans are one of the very few mammals who do not always consume their placenta after giving birth.

At the birth of my son, I was lucky enough to have one of my dear friends as my doula. One of the things she recommended I do was encapsulate my placenta. Many doulas and midwives are certified to do so, and the benefits can be huge for a new mom. For me, consuming my placenta postpartum helped alleviate the Baby Blues, increased my milk supply, sped up my postpartum healing, and boosted my iron stores to help reverse the anemia I had developed from blood loss during my son's birth. While this topic can be a bit controversial, I personally found it to be beneficial. If you are thinking about encapsulation your placenta, here are some things to think about;

*Please note: I am NOT a doctor, healthcare provider, midwife, nurse, or doula. I am just a mama who has done her research, and is speaking from my own personal experience. Always consult your healthcare provider when making the decision to consume your placenta postpartum. Never share your placenta pills with another person. 

What Is Placenta Encapsulation?
The act of consuming one's own placenta is also known as Placentophagy, and has been practiced in many other cultures for thousands of years. In fact, most mammals consume their own placenta after giving birth. The easiest (and most common way) to consume one's own placenta is through encapsulation. This process usually includes steaming, dehydrating, and grinding up the placenta, then placing it inside capsules. Sometimes placenta tinctures are also made. As long as your placenta is healthy after you give birth, it should be able to be encapsulated or made into a tincture. You must tell your healthcare practitioner ahead of time that you are planning to encapsulate your placenta, and it will them be given to your doula after you give birth to be put directly into a cooler for your doula to take with her. It important that your placenta go directly into a cooler as soon as possible to keep it fresh.

What Are The Benefits?
There are many benefits to consuming your placenta after giving birth. Some of those benefits include

• lessens postnatal bleeding
• helps regulate hormone changes after birth
• increases milk supply
• helps prevent postpartum depression
• boosts energy
• restores iron levels, and helps alleviate anemia
• helps uterus return to its pre-pregnancy state faster
• speeds the healing process
• contains oxytocin which aids in postnatal bonding between mother and baby
• increases CRH, a stress-relieving hormone

Is Consuming One's Own Placenta Safe?
Consuming one's own placenta that has been properly prepared by a certified professional has shown to carry no inherent risks if it is ingested solely by the birth mother. It is not recommended that you share your placenta pills with anyone else, as this can pass on blood borne illnesses.

Are There Any Side Effects?
While there has not been a large amount of studies done on the consumption of one's placenta after birth, the studies that have been done have shown that in 96% of cases women have reported to have experienced positive to very positive effects from consuming their placenta postpartum. Only a small amount of women reported to have had any negative effects, including feeling jittery and moody.

How To Find Someone Who Can Encapsulate Your Placenta:
Many doulas and midwives are also certified to do placenta encapsulation. If you are planning to hire a doula to be with you at your birth, (which I highly recommend doing) be sure to ask them during your interview if they are certified to encapsulate your placenta. You can visit www.dona.org for more information about finding a doula in your area. To read more about the benefits of having a doula present at you birth, read the interview I did with my doula here.

Sources:
http://americanpregnancy.org/first-year-of-life/placental-encapsulation/
http://www.dona.org
www.lovelifedoula.com

If you are pregnant, or thinking about becoming pregnant, then you may have heard of hiring a doula to be at your birth. Hiring a doula can be immensely beneficial in many ways. When I was pregnant with my son, there was no question in my mind that I wanted to have a doula present. And lucky for me, one of my dear friends happens to be an amazing one! I made sure to secure her early so I could rest easy knowing she would be there to support me before, during, and after my labor. And I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done without her!

As life would have it, my birth did not go quite the way I had envisioned it when writing up my birth plan. Having Aisha by my side was incredibly helpful. She advocated for me in ways I could not, and helped me to have the least amount of medical intervention as possible during the birth of my son. Not only that, but she helped me navigate breastfeeding issues, answered my frantic middle of the night texts right away in those early days at home, and made me feel incredibly supported and safe throughout my entire labor and well into my postpartum period.

I decided to sit down with her for an interview as a way to give mamas-to-be who may be thinking about hiring a doula to get a better understanding of what it is is that they do exactly, and to know what questions to ask when you do your own interviewing to find the right doula for you.

Interview With My Doula, Aisha Carabello ~

1. What is a doula?
A doula is someone who is trained or certified in offering valuable information, and both emotional and physical support to a woman and her partner before, during and after birth.

2. What does a doula do?
A doula's job is to educate, support (physically, mentally and emotionally) and advocate for the mother and partner throughout pregnancy, labor and delivery, and finally in the postpartum stage. It can look somewhat like a birthing coach. A doula is familiar with the physiology of pregnancy and childbirth, as well as the emotional needs of a laboring mama, and to assist her and her partner in carrying out their own wishes for their birth. A doula stays with the laboring mother throughout the entire labor, providing physical and emotional support, as well as support for the partner in ways to engage or take over when a break is needed. A doula also assists the mama-to-be and her partner in getting all of the information needed in order to make a well informed decision, as well as also facilitating communication with care providers. A doula understands that birth is an experience that a mother will remember for the rest of her life, and it's our job to protect that and help nurture that as beautifully as possible.

3. What does a doula NOT do?
A doula does NOT make decisions for you. Rather she assists you through the decision making process and provides balanced information to come to a well informed choice on your own or with your partner. A doula also does NOT deliver your baby or administer medication. Often times, many get confused with a doula's role versus that of a midwife. A doula is NOT a midwife. A midwife is very much like a doctor; they are a health care provider who can deliver your baby whether at home, at a birthing center, or in the hospital, and a doula can not do this.

4. What kind of training and credentials do doulas have?
There are no prerequisites to have in order to enroll in a training, but in order to get certified, it can vary from program to program...from weekend workshops, to book reports, to presentations. But all of it ends with you attending a certain amount of live births before you are "certified." In these programs, you are trained in childbirth, the stages of labor, birth interventions, medications, breastfeeding, etc. My program was 3 weekend intensives with 2 book reports, 1 presentation and attending 4 live births. But there is a very wide collection of doula training programs and organizations throughout the country. (you can visit www.dona.org for more info)

5. What are some of the benefits of having a doula present at your birth?
For the average expectant mama, having a doula provides a level of familiarity, experience and advocacy when it comes to the birthing process, especially the all too common challenges that can take place with a hospital birth. Obviously hospital staff's intention is to provide wonderful care for you and your baby, but hospitals are also a big business. And those businesses run a tight and timely kept ship. A doula understands that, and acts almost like a liaison. We're there to answer any questions that may arise, and advocate for you and your baby at all times while also upholding your birth wishes, unless medical intervention is absolutely necessary. A doula's job is also to help the mother and her partner to feel less anxious and offer advice in a personal, non-clinical way, as well as facilitate communication between yourself and staff. This allows mama-to-be and partner, to just focus, drop in, and engage in the main task at hand.
If you're having a birthing center birth or home birth, a doula's value and importance remains the same, providing reassurance and affirmation for BOTH partners. As well as to support you physically with touch/massage, finding the most comfortable laboring position, and being your personal cheerleader and advocate. It's also worth mentioning that studies have shown that having a doula at your birth can result in less pain medication and less labor time. And who doesn't want that!

6. What are your philosophies around birth?
I believe as women we inherently have the knowledge, strength, wisdom and ability to give birth and successfully nurture our children. It is my job as a doula to help facilitate that and turn that belief into a reality. I strive for mamas to have a safe, memorable, beautiful, and empowering birth experience. And one that facilitates and honors your personal choices.

7. What is your favorite part about being a doula?
Birth is such a magical and intimate experience! And I feel incredibly grateful and humbled that my role of being a doula has allowed me to step into that beautiful, intimate experience and be part of a mama's journey as one of the most profound and important moments of their lives. And I get to be there…..what a beautiful gift!! I feel so blessed to do this type of work and be on this journey with each family I work with.

8. Why did you choose to become a doula?
I had a doula for my first birth and it changed my whole life! I don't know how myself or my partner could have made it without her continuous support and encouragement. And after that, I sang the praises of how important having a doula was and that everyone should have one. So when my girlfriends started to become pregnant, I started offering support and information to them just because I was so passionate about it. Then quite profoundly, with my 2nd child the knowledge base and advocacy of our doula literally saved our daughter's life. It was after that, that I was inspired to help empower women, educate, and advocate for them in the same way my doula had magnificently done for me. So while on maternity leave with my daughter, I enrolled in an intensive doula, postpartum and assistant midwifery program. I fell in LOVE with it and immediately started assisting and doing births. I haven't stopped since!

9. Should I have a backup doula?
Most definitely! Most doulas have a backup that they work with. And if not, please make sure to ask any doula that you hire to have one. Majority of the time you will not need one, but it is so important to have one because you never know what might come up!

10. What is the typical fee range for most doulas?
It varies depending on what services they have/offer and where you live. In major cities like Los Angeles and New York, doulas average around $3500 while other remote areas can be around $500. I generally charge $1500 for a birth and $250 for placenta encapsulation. But it really does vary from doula to doula and client to client on their needs and wants.

11. It's clear that a doula has great value in the labor process, but would they be considered a resource at any other stage in pregnancy?
Great question! Doulas are definitely a resource prenatally as well as in the postpartum stage. I have had clients hire me as early as the end of the first trimester. But on average I really start engaging with the parents to be in the 2nd trimester and sometimes even the beginning of the 3rd. It's during those prenatal stages that we can discuss so many topics for mamas, such as; pregnancy discomfort or ailments, nutrition, exercise, stages of labor, helping with birth plans/wishes. I'm also always on call for questions or concerns about the numerous developments that occur throughout a pregnancy, especially after birth in the first few days or weeks at home.

12. At what point in labor do you generally meet up with the laboring mother?
Every doula is different….I have heard of some doulas meeting the mama-to-be at the hospital, and others long before that time. I generally meet up with the laboring mama at her home, when contractions are strong and consistent and not varied and all over the place. I then stay with them up until the baby arrives and for a few hours postpartum to help establish breastfeeding and make sure mama and baby are doing beautifully.

13. What coping techniques do you find most helpful?
I offer a variety of coping techniques, such as; labor position suggestions, touch, massage and aromatherapy using essential oils that compliment labor and birth, assistance with breathing and emotional reassurance and encouragement. With the birth of my own 2 children, I had all of the above and used every single one of those techniques and absolutely needed them and felt them to be essential. But every mama is different and every birth is different, so what one mama might like, another may not. Our job is to know that and be flexible, and to create every labor and birth to be a meaningful and special experience for her.

14. If I hire a doula, am I required to have a natural birth?
Absolutely not! This is a VERY common question that I receive. I am more than happy to support mamas regardless of their choice to have a medicated birth or not. My job is to provide all of the information and guidance the way a doula so knowledgeably is able to do, regardless of their birthing choice.

Aisha Carabello, Certified Birth Doula

Aisha lives in the Bay Area with her two children. She is a Certified Birth Doula, and Children's Yoga & Mindfulness Educator serving various preschools and elementary schools in the East Bay. She has been working with children and serving families for over 15 years. For more information on Aisha, or to inquire about her services, visit her website www.lovelifedoula.com